Togetherness vs. Aloneness in Business
DailyWord.com sends me a “deep thought” of the day, and Wednesday the topic was “Togetherness” (see below). That concept of “togetherness” in business is one I've been mulling over of late. I've always been such a perfectionist that my standard modus operandi is to do everything myself – as in the opposite of Togetherness. For my particular personality, Aloneness has seemed simpler and more consistent in terms of returns. The element of drama is removed or at least lessened quite a bit. Yet, something has always been missing from that formula…and the meditation seems to reveal how Togetherness can be a fulfilling, satisfying experience.
Truth be told, being a sole proprietor can get kind of stale and bland after multiple years of doing business this way. Also, for me, because I'm a perfectionist and have insisted on doing much of the minutiae as well as the bigger priorities myself, it's been exhausting…and perhaps not quite as effective or as fun as I'd imagined.
Noticing this, I've been led to re-evaluate my way of doing things; I've been rethinking that strategy of Aloneness, perhaps it has not gotten me as far as I'd like to go in life…But first, let us ponder the thoughts sent by DailyWord.com…
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Togetherness
I work with others in harmony and peace. I am a magnificent creation of God, blessed with physical, mental and emotional abilities that enable me to co-create wonderful moments in life. I live in a world filled with other people who are also wondrous creations, and as I connect with them, my power to co-create multiplies.
In my workplace, community or household, the best results often come through shared efforts toward a common goal. I model the ability to listen to others and consider their ideas. When I work with others effectively, the world is a little more harmonious than it would be otherwise. I celebrate the willingness and ability of all people to work together in harmony and oneness.
You are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are citizens with the saints and also members of the household of God.–Ephesians 2:19
Unsure steps into the land of my previously limited concept of “Togetherness” began last summer of '09. The story begins when I elected to give the partnership thing a whirl (again). I'm not saying I went in with complete clarity or awareness. More like naiveté. I tend to want to just believe everything will work out, even if there is writing on the wall saying it won't from the get-go.
Lesson # 1: Read the writing on the wall.
Lesson #2: Make decisions according to the data presented, e.g. take appropriate action.
Yes, at first this partnership seemed like it was going to be a lot of fun, but soon it became apparent that my selection of WHO one chooses to work with is directly equivalent to the rate of fun that is available to be had. Oh yes, and there is “short-term fun” and “long-term fun”.
Well, I wouldn't be telling this story today if I'd followed Lesson #1 & #2 above. In fact, I became involved in a partnership that was completely discordant. In order to end this dysfunctional partnership, I first had to get over beating myself up for things going poorly in the first place (after all, I'm the creator of my reality), until I remembered something my mom told me long ago – “it takes two to tango”. OK, so now I was able to accept it wasn't ALL on me. So what was I going to do about it?
I also remembered there is a lot of wisdom to the old adage “cut your losses”. So that's what I did, and now the contrast in my level of stress before and after is astounding. Life is beautiful again.
I don't want you to have to go through what I did, or if you have, let's make better choices in the future so we can celebrate our triumphs instead of cut our losses.
If you are thinking about going into your own new business partnership (i.e. business relationship), my advice to you is to somehow get a good estimate on the fun stats on the front-end.
In order for fun to be had and sustained, there must first be harmony between both parties, meaning both parties are on the same page.
By “being on the same page” I mean:
- Shared values – do you even know what your values are? If not, you'd better find out – otherwise how will you know if they are shared?
- Compatibility – personality, style, taste, lifestyle, preferences…it doesn't have to be everything compatible, but the important things.
- Communication style – do they speak in tongues, parables or few words? How do you listen, speak and comprehend?
- Conflict resolution style – do they fight it out, yell it out, bully you, withdraw and play weak, play dumb, suppress it or do they know about “non-violent communication” styles? Personally, I'm going with the latter.
In an attempt to help myself do a better job of choosing fun, successful and profitable business partners and ventures in the future, next week I'm going to post a list of the Top 7 “Yay” or “Nay” Flags to A New Business Relationsip. This will serve as a guideline for me, and maybe you'll find it useful for yourself as well.
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